This week, for the first time in 7 months, we rented a van to have a second vehicle. We had some business to attend to that required both Jason and I to have transportation during the day and public transportation was not going to be a viable option in this situation. So, I rented a van for a few days to complete our business and extended the rental by a couple of days to take advantage of visiting several National Parks and Historical Sites with the kids while Jason completes the final days of his current job assignment.
While I enjoyed re-learning how to drive (I haven't driven since we sold our van at the end of June), it soon became apparent that we are nowhere near the point of needing or wanting a second vehicle on any kind of regular basis. There are so many benefits that we have received from making this one choice to live simpler and more intentionally. For our family, this means choosing to own just one vehicle.
Financially, this has been a huge savings! The total cost of secondary transportation for our family from May-November has been $434.72 (I think...unless I missed a $1-2 bus fare somewhere). This includes a 4-day van rental, a tank of gasoline (to drive 300+ miles this week) and 3.5 months of bus fare for the 4 kids and me. The insurance cost alone for a secondary vehicle would have been nearly this number. Add in the cost of 1-2 oil changes and fuel for at least 5,000 miles and the cost for simply maintaining a second vehicle for our family would be $1,500+ before even factoring in additional routine maintenance and repairs or the unseen cost of vehicle depreciation. Additionally, with limited transportation availability there are fewer "I'm bored" trips to Target, home improvement stores, or the mall which can nickel and dime a family budget quickly. Not to mention, where would we put the crap that we don't need from these stores? Our single-vehicle lives have successfully put an end to any of those trips that we had been in the habit of making.
We've seen massive changes in communication within our family. We discuss daily where we need or want to go and arrange our schedules accordingly. Jason knows that I will most likely be home when he returns from work in the evening and can consistently have dinner planned for our family because there are fewer I-got-distracted-and-didn't-get-home-in-time-to-plan-dinner days. Also, we have all but eliminated the occurrence of him working late and wondering when he will be home, unsure of how to plan our evening. Jason has become excellent at communicating his work schedule--as random as his hours may be at times--so that we can coordinate all of our evening plans around when he will be home.
Finally, we have learned to slow down and savor life. The kids and I walk to a lot of places. We find the hidden gems around where we are staying or near the places to which we take public transportation. We spend a lot of time with the people immediately around us at the campgrounds where we stay, because we're rarely in a rush to get somewhere. While waiting at bus stops and riding public transportation, we have had the opportunity to engage in rich conversations with strangers and one another that we would otherwise miss out on by riding in our private vehicles. We truly *see* the beauty around us and realize that there is a lot to miss in life when you move through it at a rapid pace, and we're never at a loss for finding opportunities for exercise.
While the single-vehicle life will not work for every family, I'm grateful that we critically evaluated our family's needs and made this choice. For now, it's a good move for our family. Will it remain that way forever? Most likely not, but as long as the benefits continue to outweigh the costs, having one vehicle is part of the life that we choose.
(For more information on how we chose to become a single-vehicle family, click on the link here.)
Showing posts with label simple living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label simple living. Show all posts
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Adventures of a Single-Vehicle Family in the Suburbs...
So, I'd be lying if I didn't say that part of me is very excited to now be a single-vehicle family. Yes, we still have the motorcycle (for at least a little while longer) that Jason can ride solo to and from places that he needs to be, but only when the weather is fair. The past few days has been rather spring-like and full of rain. While the rain is wonderful for our garden, it's also forced us to adjust rather quickly to life with one vehicle.
First, let's get the logistics out of the way. Each day now, we're all rising early and leaving the house by 7am. Okay, more like 7:10--we don't have it down to a science yet! I drive Jason and the older girls to school and return home with the younger kids to have their second breakfast (yes, we are raising Hobbits, I'm afraid!) and regroup before we go about the activities of our day. After school, the little kids and I get back into the van, and drive back to school to pick up the older girls and Jason at the end of their day. What if one of us has an evening or weekend event to attend? Well, whoever needs to go does, and the other stays home with the kid(s) who are not attending. So far, it seems like a pretty simple plan.
While many families who live either more urban or rural lives thrive on having a single vehicle for their family, having two (or more) vehicles per family is the norm in the suburbs where we live. However, we've determined that at this stage in our life it's not a necessity. Jason works a fairly predictable schedule. I am not currently employed outside of the home. We generally do things together as a family more often than we do things separately. On the rare occasion that we need a second vehicle, there is a rental car company just a mile or so up the street that we can rent a car for the day from, while still benefitting from life with a single vehicle.
Benefitting? Yes. Benefitting.
There are A LOT of benefits to our new one-car situation. While it didn't make sense for us to sell a car that we owned outright in favor of being a single-vehicle family in the past, now that we are transitioning to living life on the road full-time in a couple of months, I'm excited to reap the benefits. First of all, we have cut our vehicle insurance and registration fees in half! We've cut our gas expenses by about 1/3-1/2 (we'll find out the real number at the end of this month). We have significantly reduced our vehicle maintenance costs. Since our van is still covered under both the manufacturer warranties and the Volkswagen Carefree Maintenance Program, we have had $0 vehicle maintenance costs on our van in 2.5 years, compared to the cost of routine maintenance on our Saab. Not to mention the stress relief of having one more large item liquidated from our lives and opening wider the door for us to move forward toward our dream.
Monetary benefits aside, the greatest benefits for our family to come from living with a single vehicle are many. We will spend more time together as we travel en masse to and from places, even if just one or two family members need to be at the destination. We are forced to make more decisions for the greater good. Just because someone would "like" to go somewhere, we can't just drop everything and go without consideration of everyone else's schedules and needs. Finally, being forced to consider one another's needs and best interests and increasing communication between spouses and children can only lead to a better marriage and family experience.
I'm optimistic about the days, months and potentially years ahead as a single-vehicle family! It likely won't be this way forever, and someday we'll likely need a second car in our lives, but I will cherish these special days while they are here.
First, let's get the logistics out of the way. Each day now, we're all rising early and leaving the house by 7am. Okay, more like 7:10--we don't have it down to a science yet! I drive Jason and the older girls to school and return home with the younger kids to have their second breakfast (yes, we are raising Hobbits, I'm afraid!) and regroup before we go about the activities of our day. After school, the little kids and I get back into the van, and drive back to school to pick up the older girls and Jason at the end of their day. What if one of us has an evening or weekend event to attend? Well, whoever needs to go does, and the other stays home with the kid(s) who are not attending. So far, it seems like a pretty simple plan.
While many families who live either more urban or rural lives thrive on having a single vehicle for their family, having two (or more) vehicles per family is the norm in the suburbs where we live. However, we've determined that at this stage in our life it's not a necessity. Jason works a fairly predictable schedule. I am not currently employed outside of the home. We generally do things together as a family more often than we do things separately. On the rare occasion that we need a second vehicle, there is a rental car company just a mile or so up the street that we can rent a car for the day from, while still benefitting from life with a single vehicle.
Benefitting? Yes. Benefitting.
There are A LOT of benefits to our new one-car situation. While it didn't make sense for us to sell a car that we owned outright in favor of being a single-vehicle family in the past, now that we are transitioning to living life on the road full-time in a couple of months, I'm excited to reap the benefits. First of all, we have cut our vehicle insurance and registration fees in half! We've cut our gas expenses by about 1/3-1/2 (we'll find out the real number at the end of this month). We have significantly reduced our vehicle maintenance costs. Since our van is still covered under both the manufacturer warranties and the Volkswagen Carefree Maintenance Program, we have had $0 vehicle maintenance costs on our van in 2.5 years, compared to the cost of routine maintenance on our Saab. Not to mention the stress relief of having one more large item liquidated from our lives and opening wider the door for us to move forward toward our dream.
Monetary benefits aside, the greatest benefits for our family to come from living with a single vehicle are many. We will spend more time together as we travel en masse to and from places, even if just one or two family members need to be at the destination. We are forced to make more decisions for the greater good. Just because someone would "like" to go somewhere, we can't just drop everything and go without consideration of everyone else's schedules and needs. Finally, being forced to consider one another's needs and best interests and increasing communication between spouses and children can only lead to a better marriage and family experience.
I'm optimistic about the days, months and potentially years ahead as a single-vehicle family! It likely won't be this way forever, and someday we'll likely need a second car in our lives, but I will cherish these special days while they are here.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Little by Little
As word begins to spread amongst friends and acquaintances about the changes ahead for our family, many new questions continue to arise. Obviously, some changes are bigger than others. Selling our house and moving into an RV and a major vocational change for Jason are the biggest changes, but many other lifestyle changes are currently taking place in preparation for our big move. Many are so seemingly insignificant in light of bigger changes that I don't even think about them until they come up in conversation.
One of the biggest changes is the shift from private school education to homeschooling for our kids. While our girls are still in school now and will continue to finish the year strong in the school that we love, we are finalizing curriculum research and gathering our materials to transition to homeschool methods over the summer. Fortunately, summer break coincides with the timing of our big move, so we aren't feeling like we have to make a quick jump into road schooling, but we also will not be waiting until September to begin the next level of education for our kids and I want to make sure that our plans are in place to begin whenever we feel settled enough to start up with school again. Once plans are finalized, I'll write a separate post about our plans as we begin our first year of homeschooling (or road schooling as we most frequently refer to it).
Another aspect of life with small children, namely an 18-month-old, is dealing with diapers. We are pretty anti-early potty training around here--mostly because it has backfired more than once on us with having kids nearly trained by 18 months--then have a new baby+regression=AWFUL process to re-train them (and before about age 2, it's not the kid who is being trained but the adults who are toileting them who are being trained)! So we just don't go there anymore and wait until they are ready. And our kids tend to be later ones to the fully-potty-trained party, and that's totally okay by us. All that to say, we are still deep in the throws of life with diapers with Eliza. We typically don't give a moment's thought to buying diapers. For environmental and economic reasons alike, we have been a cloth-diapering household since the week that Caroline was born almost 7 years ago. She was a 100% cloth baby due to skin sensitivities, and the 3 babies after her have been somewhere between 50-75% cloth-diapered (we're realistic with the expectations that we put on ourselves--it comes with the territory of having 4 kids in 5 years!). When we buy disposable diapers we either buy the enormous box from Costco that lasts 2 or more months or order a similar shipment from amazon.com and we only think about buying diapers every 6-8 weeks or so. All this will change when we go on the road. There will be no on-your-doorstep diaper delivery service, storage space will be at a premium--so no 200 pack of diapers from Costco, and I will not be washing our diapers in the laundromat every 3 days. This week I bought my first small package of diapers to begin learning what it is like to buy diapers weekly. At $10 for 36 diapers--and realizing that I'll have to go back to the store to buy another package next week, I can see why many parents are proponents for early potty learning!
Along with buying diapers in bulk, we also like to keep a well-stocked pantry and freezer. We put up food for the year, whether by canning or freezing during harvest season and buy our meat in bulk from local farmers. As we finish using what was put up last year, it feels really strange to not be preparing to put up the bounty from this coming season. Instead, I am preparing to adjust our food-buying to shopping weekly (or twice weekly) for our family. Again, with freezer, refrigerator and pantry space at a premium in an RV, we need to learn how to plan and prepare meals and do our grocery and market shopping with an entirely different mindset.
Another adjustment that I haven't given thought to, but came to light in the midst of the Kid Stuff Sale last weekend, is how we've all significantly pared down our wardrobes. The younger kids each have about 2 weeks of clothes, or 14 outfits, for this summer--including dress clothes, casual clothes, play clothes--everything! The older girls are currently wearing the same size, so they have about 3 weeks worth of clothes, or 21 outfits, combined between them for this summer. That sounds like a lot, but if you compare it to previous seasons it is a significant reduction! We've opted for pieces that can be mixed and matched together and dresses that we can stretch through several seasons for the girls in order to keep a more minimalist wardrobe. Jason and I have also pared our wardrobes down significantly. While he still needs a professional wardrobe for school, I have slashed my clothing down to 2 pair of jeans, 3 other pants, 2 pair of shorts, a few skirts, a handful of dresses and a handful of tops and t-shirts that pair with my skirts/pants/shorts. My wardrobe is effectively 1/3 what it was just a few months ago. And you know what? I don't even notice the difference! With compact wardrobes I am forced to do laundry on a regular basis, but that's something else that I need to get into the habit of. When we are living in a 400-square-foot space, how much laundry do I really want to let pile up anyway?! There are better things to devote our time and space to.
A few other adjustments that we've made lately to help ease our transition include selling our desktop computer and adjusting to a single laptop for our family, canceling our newspaper subscription, and canceling our dairy delivery (probably the saddest and hardest for me!). There are more to come, but what currently seems like a sacrifice is for a greater purpose. If we're going to live our dream, we have to step away from what has always worked in our current situation for what will serve us best in our new situation. Just because something has always worked doesn't mean it's always the best option. As our plans evolve, everything is coming under scrutiny and the only absolute is that we're going to do what is best for the Simpson Six in a manner that will bring honor to God. And contrary to what I have always believed, sometimes "living the dream" means buying a $10 pack of disposable diapers every week.
One of the biggest changes is the shift from private school education to homeschooling for our kids. While our girls are still in school now and will continue to finish the year strong in the school that we love, we are finalizing curriculum research and gathering our materials to transition to homeschool methods over the summer. Fortunately, summer break coincides with the timing of our big move, so we aren't feeling like we have to make a quick jump into road schooling, but we also will not be waiting until September to begin the next level of education for our kids and I want to make sure that our plans are in place to begin whenever we feel settled enough to start up with school again. Once plans are finalized, I'll write a separate post about our plans as we begin our first year of homeschooling (or road schooling as we most frequently refer to it).
Another aspect of life with small children, namely an 18-month-old, is dealing with diapers. We are pretty anti-early potty training around here--mostly because it has backfired more than once on us with having kids nearly trained by 18 months--then have a new baby+regression=AWFUL process to re-train them (and before about age 2, it's not the kid who is being trained but the adults who are toileting them who are being trained)! So we just don't go there anymore and wait until they are ready. And our kids tend to be later ones to the fully-potty-trained party, and that's totally okay by us. All that to say, we are still deep in the throws of life with diapers with Eliza. We typically don't give a moment's thought to buying diapers. For environmental and economic reasons alike, we have been a cloth-diapering household since the week that Caroline was born almost 7 years ago. She was a 100% cloth baby due to skin sensitivities, and the 3 babies after her have been somewhere between 50-75% cloth-diapered (we're realistic with the expectations that we put on ourselves--it comes with the territory of having 4 kids in 5 years!). When we buy disposable diapers we either buy the enormous box from Costco that lasts 2 or more months or order a similar shipment from amazon.com and we only think about buying diapers every 6-8 weeks or so. All this will change when we go on the road. There will be no on-your-doorstep diaper delivery service, storage space will be at a premium--so no 200 pack of diapers from Costco, and I will not be washing our diapers in the laundromat every 3 days. This week I bought my first small package of diapers to begin learning what it is like to buy diapers weekly. At $10 for 36 diapers--and realizing that I'll have to go back to the store to buy another package next week, I can see why many parents are proponents for early potty learning!
Along with buying diapers in bulk, we also like to keep a well-stocked pantry and freezer. We put up food for the year, whether by canning or freezing during harvest season and buy our meat in bulk from local farmers. As we finish using what was put up last year, it feels really strange to not be preparing to put up the bounty from this coming season. Instead, I am preparing to adjust our food-buying to shopping weekly (or twice weekly) for our family. Again, with freezer, refrigerator and pantry space at a premium in an RV, we need to learn how to plan and prepare meals and do our grocery and market shopping with an entirely different mindset.
Another adjustment that I haven't given thought to, but came to light in the midst of the Kid Stuff Sale last weekend, is how we've all significantly pared down our wardrobes. The younger kids each have about 2 weeks of clothes, or 14 outfits, for this summer--including dress clothes, casual clothes, play clothes--everything! The older girls are currently wearing the same size, so they have about 3 weeks worth of clothes, or 21 outfits, combined between them for this summer. That sounds like a lot, but if you compare it to previous seasons it is a significant reduction! We've opted for pieces that can be mixed and matched together and dresses that we can stretch through several seasons for the girls in order to keep a more minimalist wardrobe. Jason and I have also pared our wardrobes down significantly. While he still needs a professional wardrobe for school, I have slashed my clothing down to 2 pair of jeans, 3 other pants, 2 pair of shorts, a few skirts, a handful of dresses and a handful of tops and t-shirts that pair with my skirts/pants/shorts. My wardrobe is effectively 1/3 what it was just a few months ago. And you know what? I don't even notice the difference! With compact wardrobes I am forced to do laundry on a regular basis, but that's something else that I need to get into the habit of. When we are living in a 400-square-foot space, how much laundry do I really want to let pile up anyway?! There are better things to devote our time and space to.
A few other adjustments that we've made lately to help ease our transition include selling our desktop computer and adjusting to a single laptop for our family, canceling our newspaper subscription, and canceling our dairy delivery (probably the saddest and hardest for me!). There are more to come, but what currently seems like a sacrifice is for a greater purpose. If we're going to live our dream, we have to step away from what has always worked in our current situation for what will serve us best in our new situation. Just because something has always worked doesn't mean it's always the best option. As our plans evolve, everything is coming under scrutiny and the only absolute is that we're going to do what is best for the Simpson Six in a manner that will bring honor to God. And contrary to what I have always believed, sometimes "living the dream" means buying a $10 pack of disposable diapers every week.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Kid Stuff Sale
For all of our readers with children in your lives who live in the greater Indianapolis area (extending to at least a 1.5 hour radius as well!), this Saturday is a HUGE consignment sale that you'll want to make sure you come to! It fills the entire church gym, Youth Center and a large preschool classroom with top-notch items for kids of all ages!
The Kid Stuff Sale at Church at the Crossing, just inside of 465 near Keystone at the Crossing, is this Saturday from 8-noon! 50 consignors are bringing their best clothes, toys, gear, equipment and more for kids age newborn to size 16 (or about 12-year-olds) and maternity clothing. This is the 15th annual sale and it only gets better each year!
Everything is pre-screened by a committee to make sure that clothes are all in great condition--no stained or damaged clothing and all toys and games are not broken and have no missing pieces. Many name brands, new items with tags and unbelievable pricing! Most consignors price their items at garage sale prices for high end children's consignment-store quality items. In my days of stock-piling clothing for the year ahead, I would clothe all 3 of our older kids for the entire year for less than $200--and would buy most of our toys and large equipment items (like strollers, bike trailers, high chairs, baby slings, playroom furniture and more!) still staying within that budget. Seriously, this is not a sale to miss!
Check out the website at www.kidstuffsale.org for more information.
Can't shop on Saturday? It's not too late to volunteer to help with the sale and shop early on Friday evening before the sale opens to the public. Information on how to volunteer is also on the Kid Stuff Sale website. And don't worry if you're shopping on Saturday--there's so much great stuff that it won't all be gone before the sale opens on Saturday. I have always shopped early and still see things late into the morning on Saturday that I can't believe I didn't see on Friday (and usually go back through the check-out!).
I'll be there all weekend! If you do decide to check it out, come say hello! It's the first year ever that I've been at the sale without either a baby strapped to my hip or pregnant with our next little one--I don't know if I'll even know what to do with myself without a wee one in tow!!
The Kid Stuff Sale at Church at the Crossing, just inside of 465 near Keystone at the Crossing, is this Saturday from 8-noon! 50 consignors are bringing their best clothes, toys, gear, equipment and more for kids age newborn to size 16 (or about 12-year-olds) and maternity clothing. This is the 15th annual sale and it only gets better each year!
Everything is pre-screened by a committee to make sure that clothes are all in great condition--no stained or damaged clothing and all toys and games are not broken and have no missing pieces. Many name brands, new items with tags and unbelievable pricing! Most consignors price their items at garage sale prices for high end children's consignment-store quality items. In my days of stock-piling clothing for the year ahead, I would clothe all 3 of our older kids for the entire year for less than $200--and would buy most of our toys and large equipment items (like strollers, bike trailers, high chairs, baby slings, playroom furniture and more!) still staying within that budget. Seriously, this is not a sale to miss!
Check out the website at www.kidstuffsale.org for more information.
Can't shop on Saturday? It's not too late to volunteer to help with the sale and shop early on Friday evening before the sale opens to the public. Information on how to volunteer is also on the Kid Stuff Sale website. And don't worry if you're shopping on Saturday--there's so much great stuff that it won't all be gone before the sale opens on Saturday. I have always shopped early and still see things late into the morning on Saturday that I can't believe I didn't see on Friday (and usually go back through the check-out!).
I'll be there all weekend! If you do decide to check it out, come say hello! It's the first year ever that I've been at the sale without either a baby strapped to my hip or pregnant with our next little one--I don't know if I'll even know what to do with myself without a wee one in tow!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The Value of Being Present
Throughout much of the past 9-10 months, as we began planning and taking steps for a major lifestyle change for our family in preparation for life on the road full-time, I have felt a great tension. How do we do all that we must do to prepare for what is ahead of us while remaining present where we are?
No matter what the circumstance, whether it be preparing for a marriage, a job change, the addition of a child to your family, moving homes, or any number of major life events that require preparation, I'm certain that I'm not alone in feeling this tension. The tendency to prematurely pull away from that which you will be leaving behind after the change is a tough one to counteract.
We have become deeply rooted in our present community. We are invested in a school that was our reason for moving to Indianapolis and has become our extended family in town over the past 10 years. We helped plant our church in the community where we live 5 years ago and have grown to call it home. We live our daily lives among some of the most fantastic neighbors we could ask for and are blessed to call them friends. For a place where neither Jason nor I grew up and have lived for just a few short years, we have found ourselves surrounded by so many great people in our "village" that I want to treasure every bit of time with them while we are still in close physical proximity.
For this reason, we held tightly to our dream and specific plans until we could no longer keep it to ourselves. You see, as much as our excitement is overflowing, the bittersweet side is that now that everyone in our village is caught up to speed with where we're going, we now are faced with the challenge of remaining present where we are and not looking too far ahead to where we're going.
Do we want to sell our house and possessions quickly and buy our new-to-us truck and RV ASAP?--ABSOLUTELY! Do we want to be so focused on where we hope to be three months from now that we miss out on everything here and now?--ABSOLUTELY NOT! As our life on the road will be about learning to enjoy the journey without worry of the destination (partly because we don't know when/where our final destination will be), we're doing our best to live that now.
Will we talk your ear off about our plans and preparations and share more details than you ever thought you wanted to know about RVs, trucks, road schooling, minimalist living, veggie oil conversions, etc.?--Only if you want us to. Will we act like life is continuing on as usual? Definitely. Because it is. Our version of life-as-usual just might look different from your own, but that's often the case when we delve deep enough into one another's lives.
Our lives for the next several years will involve a constant state of change of both scenery and cast of characters with the places that we go and the people that we meet. We can choose to keep people at arm's length, knowing that we'll soon be traveling onward, or we can choose to invest in the lives of people that we meet, not knowing if we'll be spending the next 2 months near them or if after today we'll never meet again. Now is the time for us to practice not "checking out" early, but being present where we are and continuing to invest fully in the people and things that we love while we are still physically present among them.
No matter what the circumstance, whether it be preparing for a marriage, a job change, the addition of a child to your family, moving homes, or any number of major life events that require preparation, I'm certain that I'm not alone in feeling this tension. The tendency to prematurely pull away from that which you will be leaving behind after the change is a tough one to counteract.
We have become deeply rooted in our present community. We are invested in a school that was our reason for moving to Indianapolis and has become our extended family in town over the past 10 years. We helped plant our church in the community where we live 5 years ago and have grown to call it home. We live our daily lives among some of the most fantastic neighbors we could ask for and are blessed to call them friends. For a place where neither Jason nor I grew up and have lived for just a few short years, we have found ourselves surrounded by so many great people in our "village" that I want to treasure every bit of time with them while we are still in close physical proximity.
For this reason, we held tightly to our dream and specific plans until we could no longer keep it to ourselves. You see, as much as our excitement is overflowing, the bittersweet side is that now that everyone in our village is caught up to speed with where we're going, we now are faced with the challenge of remaining present where we are and not looking too far ahead to where we're going.
Do we want to sell our house and possessions quickly and buy our new-to-us truck and RV ASAP?--ABSOLUTELY! Do we want to be so focused on where we hope to be three months from now that we miss out on everything here and now?--ABSOLUTELY NOT! As our life on the road will be about learning to enjoy the journey without worry of the destination (partly because we don't know when/where our final destination will be), we're doing our best to live that now.
Will we talk your ear off about our plans and preparations and share more details than you ever thought you wanted to know about RVs, trucks, road schooling, minimalist living, veggie oil conversions, etc.?--Only if you want us to. Will we act like life is continuing on as usual? Definitely. Because it is. Our version of life-as-usual just might look different from your own, but that's often the case when we delve deep enough into one another's lives.
Our lives for the next several years will involve a constant state of change of both scenery and cast of characters with the places that we go and the people that we meet. We can choose to keep people at arm's length, knowing that we'll soon be traveling onward, or we can choose to invest in the lives of people that we meet, not knowing if we'll be spending the next 2 months near them or if after today we'll never meet again. Now is the time for us to practice not "checking out" early, but being present where we are and continuing to invest fully in the people and things that we love while we are still physically present among them.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Taking the plunge
If you have been following what we have been up to, you know that we have been making an intentional effort to simplify our lives and our home. If you have not been following, you can catch up here and read through the links at the top (or put on a pot of coffee and start from the beginning of the blog!)
We have enjoyed taking the little steps towards a more simple lifestyle and downsizing the stuff that we have. It is refreshing to find out what you can live without and not even miss. I would love to say that all we have been doing throughout this process is to make ourselves more comfortable where we are at, but it's more than that. As I said, we have been taking small steps, but dreaming big along the way. This is the point where we start taking big steps.
This is the point where we sell our house.
We are downsizing our living accommodations, and not just in square footage, but in type of accommodation. Our goal in this process is to move all 6 of us into an RV and travel about the country.
WHAT?!!!
You read that right. This is an idea that we have been tossing around for 4 years now, and we are at a point where it can (and will!) become a reality. Our plan is to have the house sold before the end of the school year, and then to seamlessly transition into a fifth wheel RV.
To answer a few of the big and initial questions:
Income: I will be working electrical again. There are a lot of jobs that hire 'roadies' to work on a short term basis. The jobs average 6-8 weeks in length. I have several sources for job sites, so work should not be hard to come by. We will also supplement this income with some smaller and side items. I plan on marketing my photography skills, doing odd jobs at campgrounds, and ad revenue and sponsors on this blog.
The kids: They are almost as excited about this adventure as Stephanie and myself are (which is VERY). Educationally, as an elementary teacher, Stephanie is more than capable of instructing them through homeschooling methods. There will be plenty of space in the RV for them--we have been looking at some models with 4 bunks (I don't know why, since they like to sleep in the same beds with each other).
Storing stuff: There really won't be much to store. We have a few keepsakes and items that are important and will store longterm, but for the most part if it isn't coming with us, we don't need it. Most furniture and large items around our home will be sold.
Where to first: My initial answer is where ever the wind blows us, but at first it will be dictated where the jobs are at. The good thing is that I won't need to work full time, so we will be able to take some time to go places that we want. We do plan on trying to cover the whole country, so our destinations may become more specific, but for the most part, we want to enjoy the journey and not be focused on a destination (which is a hard one for me).
How long: As long as it's the best thing for our family. Initially, we're thinking 3-5 years, to give ample time to see the country and experience life from coast to coast and everywhere in between. However, if we find we're done with the nomadic life sooner or later than that time, then that's when we'll come off the road.
There are a lot of factors to cover and questions to be answered. We will try to go over most of them within the next few posts, but if you have a specific question, please send it to us or leave it in the comments.
We appreciate your support during this exciting time!
O yeah, if you know any one needing a great house or selling a truck or trailer...
We have enjoyed taking the little steps towards a more simple lifestyle and downsizing the stuff that we have. It is refreshing to find out what you can live without and not even miss. I would love to say that all we have been doing throughout this process is to make ourselves more comfortable where we are at, but it's more than that. As I said, we have been taking small steps, but dreaming big along the way. This is the point where we start taking big steps.
This is the point where we sell our house.
We are downsizing our living accommodations, and not just in square footage, but in type of accommodation. Our goal in this process is to move all 6 of us into an RV and travel about the country.
WHAT?!!!
You read that right. This is an idea that we have been tossing around for 4 years now, and we are at a point where it can (and will!) become a reality. Our plan is to have the house sold before the end of the school year, and then to seamlessly transition into a fifth wheel RV.
To answer a few of the big and initial questions:
Income: I will be working electrical again. There are a lot of jobs that hire 'roadies' to work on a short term basis. The jobs average 6-8 weeks in length. I have several sources for job sites, so work should not be hard to come by. We will also supplement this income with some smaller and side items. I plan on marketing my photography skills, doing odd jobs at campgrounds, and ad revenue and sponsors on this blog.
The kids: They are almost as excited about this adventure as Stephanie and myself are (which is VERY). Educationally, as an elementary teacher, Stephanie is more than capable of instructing them through homeschooling methods. There will be plenty of space in the RV for them--we have been looking at some models with 4 bunks (I don't know why, since they like to sleep in the same beds with each other).
Storing stuff: There really won't be much to store. We have a few keepsakes and items that are important and will store longterm, but for the most part if it isn't coming with us, we don't need it. Most furniture and large items around our home will be sold.
Where to first: My initial answer is where ever the wind blows us, but at first it will be dictated where the jobs are at. The good thing is that I won't need to work full time, so we will be able to take some time to go places that we want. We do plan on trying to cover the whole country, so our destinations may become more specific, but for the most part, we want to enjoy the journey and not be focused on a destination (which is a hard one for me).
How long: As long as it's the best thing for our family. Initially, we're thinking 3-5 years, to give ample time to see the country and experience life from coast to coast and everywhere in between. However, if we find we're done with the nomadic life sooner or later than that time, then that's when we'll come off the road.
There are a lot of factors to cover and questions to be answered. We will try to go over most of them within the next few posts, but if you have a specific question, please send it to us or leave it in the comments.
We appreciate your support during this exciting time!
O yeah, if you know any one needing a great house or selling a truck or trailer...
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Busy, busy, busy.
So, what have the Simpsons been up to for the past few days? Glad you asked! In the spirit of de-cluttering, down sizing, and spring cleaning, (background and history found in these posts: How much is too much?, The first step, Trashcan, Taking a step back) we are getting ready for a garage sale. I know that most garage sales involve trying to pawn off the little trinkets and junk that people are tired of staring at. Being a former pro-garage saler, I understand this sentiment. I would travel from sale to sale, weed through the junk and crap that was put out, and hope to find that one treasure. This treasure could be something that the owner has no clue what the value is or something that another avid garage saler has yet to discover. My 2 best stories of this are getting a $1500 bicycle for $100 or getting a $150 Longabarger basket for $2. Both great finds.
But fear not! Our garage sale is not just the bits of crap that we want to dispense with. If you have followed along with the aforementioned posts, one would understand that we are getting rid of the extraneous items around us, keeping only what we need. There are many, many quality items that will be available for sale. Only the items that we have deemed "too good" to be taken in our 6 carloads to Goodwill since the beginning of 2012 have made the cut. In the past 2 days, we have filled half of the garage with items ready for a new home. See...
And there is more that we have not moved out there yet. So, if you are local and are looking for a little bit of everything (furniture, tools, men's, women's and kids clothes and toys, kitchen and household items, and much more!) please tell your friends and come by. Please send us a message if you need directions to our neighborhood. We will be advertising in the Star, Craigslist, and via social media. Friday, March 16th and Saturday the 17th, 8am until Noon (or the crowds die down). The forecast is shaping up for a beautiful weekend to kick off the garage sale season!
But fear not! Our garage sale is not just the bits of crap that we want to dispense with. If you have followed along with the aforementioned posts, one would understand that we are getting rid of the extraneous items around us, keeping only what we need. There are many, many quality items that will be available for sale. Only the items that we have deemed "too good" to be taken in our 6 carloads to Goodwill since the beginning of 2012 have made the cut. In the past 2 days, we have filled half of the garage with items ready for a new home. See...
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Streamlining Our Kitchen & My Online Pampered Chef Party
As we're moving through our home and belongings, downsizing and simplifying, we've been zeroing in on our kitchen for the past week or so, and are in the midst of an overhaul to make life simpler, more streamlined and practical for us. As I've mentioned in the past couple of posts, we've sent our microwave to Appliance Purgatory (aka the garage) and sold our large hard-anodized aluminum cookware set to purchase a few cast iron pieces. We've edited other small appliances such as the toaster oven, a small food processor and a few other single-use appliances. At this point we are only keeping the toaster, waffle iron, food processor, hand mixer and stand mixer--although one or more of these are still up for further review. (Oh, and the crock pot and bread machine, which are as much permanent fixtures in our kitchen as the oven and refrigerator.) We've boxed up 2 sets of glassware and have 3 sets of dishes set aside to sell. We're also paring down our gadgets and utensils as well as trying to eliminate as much of the non-stick-coated and aluminum bakeware from our kitchen as possible.
One thing that I've noticed as I have made my way through my kitchen is that what we are committed to keeping are the items of quality that have and will stand the test of time and will serve multiple purposes. The bulk of what remains are our Pampered Chef items, which I love for their quality and design. As I am planning to purchase some stoneware bakeware to replace items that do not work for our family, as well as a few kitchen prep tools, I decided to team up with my friend Alison to host an online Pampered Chef catalog show, so that anyone else that is in the market for quality kitchen items can also do so.
I'd also like to open up my show to our readers, as well. I'm seriously a very non-sales-pressure kind of gal, so no worries if you aren't in the market. Let's be real. Our family is buckling down and focusing on stewardship and simplifying, so you know I'm not trying to talk you into buying something that you don't need or won't be useful to you! However, I have found almost every Pampered Chef item that I have owned to be both quality pieces and useful to me. Additionally, the special for the month of February includes all metal and unglazed stoneware bakeware at 20% off--which is totally why I'm doing the catalog show until the end of the month!
If you are interested in browsing the products, you can check out Alison's Pampered Chef website through this link to my show: www.pamperedchef.biz/mossbarger, click on "shop online", and enter my name, Stephanie Simpson, to shop.
If you are in the market for great kitchen items, I would love if you place an order through my show, as it will help me to also get a bit of a discount on the items that I'm planning to purchase as I streamline my kitchen. The show will close on Wednesday February 29, so it's just for this week!
We had a Pampered Chef wedding shower before we were married as well as a Pampered Chef housewarming party when we bought our house, so if you are interested in some of my personal favorites and what has withstood the test of time, I'll fill you in on the top 10 Pampered Chef pieces that we love around the Simpson Six kitchen!
These are gorgeous, simple serving pieces that are very modular for a multitude of purposes. We've also recently transitioned to using these as our everyday dishes and they are a striking background for meal presentation.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Taking a step back: why are we doing what we are doing?
So I realized after posting last night about kicking the microwave out of our kitchen--which conveniently saved me from making an impulse cup of chai tea today, because it was "too much effort" to pull out a pot to heat the milk on the stove (lame, I know...hopefully I'll get past that soon)--that we may need to clarify for our readers exactly what we are doing and why we're doing what we are doing.
We've been living in our current home for almost 8 years. When we moved in, it was just Jason and me, our cat, a few hand-me-down pieces of furniture and 27 boxes full of everything that we owned in the world--in impeccably labeled and inventoried boxes, no less--because Jason totally rocks the packing and moving thing!
Fast forward seven-and-a-half years and we have added 4 kids, subtracted a cat, added a house full of furniture, rooms filled with "stuff", and built a storage shed which is full of what doesn't fit in the garage. While I recognize that we are nowhere near the "Danger Zone" of becoming hoarders, and by American standards we already live pretty simply, we had become lax with living our value of stewardship and were uncomfortable with the level of consumption that we had reached.
While child-bearing years and the sleep-deprived haze of the past 7 years do explain part of how this has happened, it's not really an excuse for us. We are responsible for our actions and decisions, even those made on auto-pilot. We have acquired more than we have mindfully decided to bring into our lives, and have added people to our home--who we deliberately chose to add and love with all of our being--that also bring in "stuff" without consciously thinking about it. When we looked around and saw what was happening around us, this past autumn we decided that it was time to take a step back, re-evaluate our priorities and shift gears so that the life that we are living is the life that we are choosing. It was time to move from living on the default setting to deliberate living.
It's amazing how that becomes so much more possible when you are neither preparing for nor adjusting to life with a new baby, as had been the norm for us for the past 7 years. We
We've been living in our current home for almost 8 years. When we moved in, it was just Jason and me, our cat, a few hand-me-down pieces of furniture and 27 boxes full of everything that we owned in the world--in impeccably labeled and inventoried boxes, no less--because Jason totally rocks the packing and moving thing!
Fast forward seven-and-a-half years and we have added 4 kids, subtracted a cat, added a house full of furniture, rooms filled with "stuff", and built a storage shed which is full of what doesn't fit in the garage. While I recognize that we are nowhere near the "Danger Zone" of becoming hoarders, and by American standards we already live pretty simply, we had become lax with living our value of stewardship and were uncomfortable with the level of consumption that we had reached.
 | |
|
It's amazing how that becomes so much more possible when you are neither preparing for nor adjusting to life with a new baby, as had been the norm for us for the past 7 years. We
Monday, February 20, 2012
Zapped!
We've been making some significant (at least for us) strides toward simplifying and downsizing our stuff in order to super-size our lives and live more fully, more intentionally, and better overall. Today we took the next big step.
We removed the microwave from our kitchen.
This is a move that I've been pushing to make for at least 6 months, but we decided today to just go for it. The microwave's only purpose is to make food preparation faster, not better. Fifty years ago a microwave was not a staple in American kitchens. Is the overall health and quality of the food we eat today better or worse, on a whole, than the food our grandparents prepared? We may be more efficient, but in this instance, efficient does not necessarily mean better.
Bear with me for a moment as I rant crazy--I'll try to bring it back around. I first became suspicious of the microwave when I learned what you can and cannot cook in a microwave, and the types of dishes that you should and should never use in a microwave. Then there's the whole "I just don't get how it works" part that makes me skeptical. I understand how and why my oven, stove top, grill, and even my toaster work--but I just don't understand how the microwave works. And I like to know how things work--especially things surrounding my food and what my family consumes. So, after a few months of non-scientific research and taking mental stock of what and how often I use the microwave, I realized that I primarily use it for 3 things: boiling water, melting butter, and reheating leftovers.
Since we conveniently have a tea kettle to boil water, saucepans to melt butter and a stove/oven to reheat leftovers, I determined that I could easily live without the microwave and enjoy the extra space in my kitchen instead--with the added bonus of being forced to live a little slower. I just needed to convince Jason that we can do it.
Lucky for me, he's really getting into the whole purging part of down-sizing, so he was game to give it a try. This morning he wiped it down and relegated it to a newly-opened spot on the garage shelf where an item we recently sold had been sitting.
What was this other item, you ask?
Well, I'm sooooo glad that you asked. It was our spare microwave, of course! Sold last week for $10 on Craigslist.
So, when it came time to make lunch, our adventure began. We were re-heating some taco meat for taco salads for our lunch today, and instead of instinctively plopping the dishes into the microwave and waiting impatiently for 90 seconds for them to be heated, we pulled out a pan, fired up the stove, and waited almost 5 minutes for the meat to reheat while preparing the rest of our dishes and playing with the kids. All at once. Like it was a real meal or something. Crazy, I know! It was a welcome change to treat reheating yesterday's dinner for today's lunch as a proper meal instead of a fast food experience.
I know that I'm in the honeymoon period right now, and I know that I will be so mad that I will want to scream bad words (yes, that's actually what I shout when I'm mad--"Bad words, bad words, BAD WORDS!!!"--try it sometime, it helps a lot more to bring you back around than actually cussing) when I'm hungry right NOW and have to either practice patience or choose something different. But, that's part of the process. That experience will help me to live better and grow my character, and teach me more fully to live as I want to live.
The microwave is still hanging out in the garage, in case this experiment appears to fail. I say appears, because if we do bring it back into our home, it means that doing without, in this instance, doesn't contribute to a better life. And maybe it won't. Who knows--that's part of the mystery of experiments. You never know until you try. I'm certain that the experiment will succeed, and I'm hopeful that success also means one less non-essential "thing" in our lives that opens the door to a richer, better life.
 |
| Now you see it... |
 |
| ...now you don't! |
Bear with me for a moment as I rant crazy--I'll try to bring it back around. I first became suspicious of the microwave when I learned what you can and cannot cook in a microwave, and the types of dishes that you should and should never use in a microwave. Then there's the whole "I just don't get how it works" part that makes me skeptical. I understand how and why my oven, stove top, grill, and even my toaster work--but I just don't understand how the microwave works. And I like to know how things work--especially things surrounding my food and what my family consumes. So, after a few months of non-scientific research and taking mental stock of what and how often I use the microwave, I realized that I primarily use it for 3 things: boiling water, melting butter, and reheating leftovers.
Since we conveniently have a tea kettle to boil water, saucepans to melt butter and a stove/oven to reheat leftovers, I determined that I could easily live without the microwave and enjoy the extra space in my kitchen instead--with the added bonus of being forced to live a little slower. I just needed to convince Jason that we can do it.
Lucky for me, he's really getting into the whole purging part of down-sizing, so he was game to give it a try. This morning he wiped it down and relegated it to a newly-opened spot on the garage shelf where an item we recently sold had been sitting.
What was this other item, you ask?
Well, I'm sooooo glad that you asked. It was our spare microwave, of course! Sold last week for $10 on Craigslist.
So, when it came time to make lunch, our adventure began. We were re-heating some taco meat for taco salads for our lunch today, and instead of instinctively plopping the dishes into the microwave and waiting impatiently for 90 seconds for them to be heated, we pulled out a pan, fired up the stove, and waited almost 5 minutes for the meat to reheat while preparing the rest of our dishes and playing with the kids. All at once. Like it was a real meal or something. Crazy, I know! It was a welcome change to treat reheating yesterday's dinner for today's lunch as a proper meal instead of a fast food experience.
I know that I'm in the honeymoon period right now, and I know that I will be so mad that I will want to scream bad words (yes, that's actually what I shout when I'm mad--"Bad words, bad words, BAD WORDS!!!"--try it sometime, it helps a lot more to bring you back around than actually cussing) when I'm hungry right NOW and have to either practice patience or choose something different. But, that's part of the process. That experience will help me to live better and grow my character, and teach me more fully to live as I want to live.
The microwave is still hanging out in the garage, in case this experiment appears to fail. I say appears, because if we do bring it back into our home, it means that doing without, in this instance, doesn't contribute to a better life. And maybe it won't. Who knows--that's part of the mystery of experiments. You never know until you try. I'm certain that the experiment will succeed, and I'm hopeful that success also means one less non-essential "thing" in our lives that opens the door to a richer, better life.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The World Is Not Your Trashcan
 |
| Just.wow. |
First of all, this is at The Children's Museum of Indianapolis--a place where thousands of parents bring their children each day. A large number of these children wear diapers. A place where there are trashcans all around for rubbish such as this to be deposited in a sanitary manner. Not to mention, this diaper belonged to a child who was taught today by their parent or caregiver that if you don't feel like throwing away your trash where it belongs, just anywhere is fine. But again, this is simply a symptom of a much greater problem.
As a society, we're really numb to the effects of our trash. As I drive through my neighborhood on trash day each week, I imagine the lives that my neighbors live. Clearly our lifestyle is not the norm. When I see 5 trash cans regularly on some curbs or 7 big black bags stacked up on another, my mind wonders how one household can regularly produce this much trash. Our family still has a long way to go to reach my goal of less than 1 kitchen-size bag/week, but our 2-3 kitchen bags/week seems excessive to me. I try to think of how the six of us could regularly fill 5 trashcans and am lost.
Now, while it's hardly an excuse, because it's still trash that has to go to the nebulous *someplace*, there are times of purging that we've filled 2+ trashcans in a week. However, once I realized that the refuse workers don't just make the trash disappear, it's impossible for me to not analyze every item before it goes into the kitchen trash bag. There are several categories of places where unwanted items in our home go before something reaches the trash, and even our 3-year-old knows these procedures--and our 15-month-old is learning.
- Is it something that's in new or great condition and someone else could use? If so, we sell it, either on Craigslist, consignment, or set it aside for a garage sale (only saved for a garage sale if we have one scheduled), or give it to a friend that we know could use the item.
- Is there still some life in something that someone could clean up, fix or re-purpose? If so, we set it aside to re-purpose if we have an immediate idea that we will promptly re-use it for, offer it on Freecycle or donate to Goodwill or another similar agency.
- Is it broken, used up, or otherwise ended its life in its current state? If so, there are a few options before an item hits the trashcan:
- Recycle Bin: We don't pay for curbside recycling, but several Indianapolis parks have recycling bins that accept ALL PLASTICS #1-7!!!, glass, steel, aluminum, empty aerosol cans, phone books, magazines and newspapers.
- Paper Recycling: Indianapolis also has paper recycling dumpsters around the city that are fundraisers for the facility where they are located. These dumpsters not only accept newspapers, but also office papers, magazines, junk mail and some even accept cardboard.
- Compost: Food scraps are put into the compost pail and are dumped onto our compost pile to be added to our garden during growing season.
Now, if you were in elementary school in the 80's or 90's, you surely learned the 3R's in science class or at least on Earth Day. If you notice, I've covered the re-use and recycle options of the 3R's, but the first and probably most important R is to reduce. Reducing our waste starts with the point of purchase. Do we buy what we need, or what we might need someday? Do we buy the plastic-wrapped "perfect for baking" potatoes, or the loose russets from the produce bin? Do we purchase the toy that is hermetically sealed with its plastic ties in the box that is 3-times the size of the toy, or do we purchase the toy that is in no package at all from a resale shop? All of these decisions add up and even a few minor changes can really make a difference in our ability to reduce our overall trash consumption.
Something else that makes a huge difference that takes minimal effort is to actually use those reusable shopping bags. We all have a surplus, after the deluge of every store and every group handing them out over the past few years, but what if we all used them?
I rarely shop without mine and have eliminated plastic grocery bags from coming into our home. I'm starting to make the move to try to remember to bring them to other stores when I'm shopping, and have noticed a significant difference in our surplus of other shopping bags around our house this way as well. Again, I have a long way to go in this area, but it's a start. I know most grocery bags can be reused for dirty diapers (see above!) or mini trashcan liners, or recycled, but if we reduce our consumption in the first place, we'll make an even greater impact on our environment.
So, while it was definitely gross to step over a dirty diaper in order to load my child into our van this afternoon, it made me more sad than anything. Sad that this was an acceptable act to the person who left it sitting in the parking lot. Sad for the disconnect between what happens to our trash after we are done with it. Sad that a child or children were taught that this is an acceptable way to live in society--the society that I'm raising my children to live in as well.
I did, however, try to give the benefit of the doubt that, perhaps, this diaper errantly fell out of the trash bag that was inside the van. So I did what any thoughtful citizen would do. I returned the misplaced item to its owner. I'm sure that they will silently thank me later for doing so. And if they don't feel particularly thankful, perhaps they will at least be aware, if only for today, that our trash does affect those around us, and ultimately it has an effect on our own quality of life as well.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Making space
I really don't have a lot to share at this moment. We have been busy cleaning, clearing, de-cluttering. I can't say that it has been the most fun activity selling our things. It is hard to let things go, but I have gotten a few good Craigslist stories out of the process. What has been fun to realize as I have removed items from my life that I didn't use, had no relevant purpose, or were under utilized, is that I have made room for things that I truly want or need. I have been able to get a few new playthings recently because of now having a space/purpose for them as well as having the income to purchase them. It is amazing how easy it becomes to get those few things that you have been pining for once you sell some other stuff. I will admit, now that I have the taste in my mouth of selling things it drives me to keep it up.
Get rid of some things, create elbow room, and see how good it feels to stretch.
Now, if only there was a better way to deal with the flakes on Craigslist...
Get rid of some things, create elbow room, and see how good it feels to stretch.
Now, if only there was a better way to deal with the flakes on Craigslist...
Thursday, February 9, 2012
There's No Place Like Home
 |
| There's no place like home. |
A single word that evokes a spectrum of images and emotions within us all.
What is home?
The series of images that go through my mind begin with a Victorian tri-plex that my family owned and we lived in until I was 5. In my preschool eyes this home was huge, beautiful and all that I could dream of. I had no knowledge of the pain of the community that it was within, surrounded by transient drug dealers and mentally ill Vietnam vets, where my father was the one-man neighborhood watch association. This was home.
For the next 13 years, home was affectionately referenced by others as "The Highley Hotel"--the new home that my parents built out in the country. It was in the middle of 5 acres and where my brother and I could freely roam. We spent our spring, summer and autumn days exploring the woods and the century-old barns full of ancient treasures. We lived "on the compound" (think Kennedy family compound) with family as our next-door-neighbors and could throw a rock to many other family members' houses. Yes, this was home.
When I was in college, while home was still where my parents lived, home also became the dorms and friends that I lived with. The Second South Sweeties of Morrison Hall my freshman year were truly a family, and some of my very best friends to this day are SSS's. Myers Hall, which I loved so much that I spent 3 years there, then became my home. Again, some great friendships were forged in this place, formative conversations and events occurred within its walls, and it was home.
After college, a couple of girlfriends and I moved into our first apartment and home was now independent of my family of origin. Although I had not lived there in 4 years, home was officially no longer in Ohio. I became a Hoosier--whatever that is?!?
A year later, my girlfriends had moved out to other apartments and Jason moved in after we got married. This was now our home together. My definition of home also became shaken up for the first time in my life. Within weeks of returning from our honeymoon, we found ourselves on the defensive against a landlord who had taken a quick dive off the deep end. To make a long--yet fascinating glimpse into mental illness--story short; after our door being busted in, receiving a series of threatening phone calls, making multiple calls to the police and ultimately learning how to serve a restraining order, this was no longer home. We moved to a new apartment and a year later moved to the house where we still live today.
So, this is home. Right?
Well, now that I should have a pretty straightforward answer, it's not so simple.
I've never really felt comfortable labeling myself by my occupation, feeling that while "teacher" or "Census representative" or "childcare provider" were/are things that I do, they are not who I am. However, now that I no longer am employed in an occupation beyond a very part-time basis, I've found that my answer to the question, "What do you do for a living?" is now something that I feel completely at peace answering.
I am a homemaker.
Ok, before your eyes gloss over and visions of June Cleaver dusting the knick-knacks in pearls comes to mind, that's not what I mean. At all. And if you know me, you know just how laughable that image is to me! I don't see the role of homemaker as a cook, decorator or laundress either. Yes, I do all of these things, but it's not what I do for a living. This is not what makes up my life.
I make a home by creating the space for my family to grow our relationships in breadth and depth. Part of that does entail doing the mundane of preparing meals and keeping (some semblance of) order in our home, so that we can maximize our quantity of time together, in order for quality time to emerge. I make a home by creating a space for my family to land after spending their days out in the world. For our kids, this is exploring new places, learning new things and building new relationships. For my husband this means building into the lives of students and staff at school and building into and onto the infrastructure of our society. They need to know that at the end of the day, there is a safe place where they can be who they are and recharge for the next day. This is why I make a home.
Home is also made by doing things we love, and learning new things together. It's being purposeful in the activities that we invest our lives into and being intentional about how we spend our time together.
Home has become less of a where and more of a who. I can be at home in any place, if I'm allowed to be free, and if I am with Jason and our kids.
Home is where I am free to be me.
Home is where you are free to be you.
Home means being known and accepted, safe and loved.
Home really is where your heart is, and once you find where that is, there's no place in the world like home!
Home with Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
It all starts with the first step.
Today I made the first hard step toward downsizing. Not just "de-cluttering", which I do at least semi-annually whenever the *stuff* starts to close in on me. That's just getting rid of useless stuff that I don't even notice when it's gone. The kind of paring down that keeps us from eventually appearing on an episode of Hoarders.
No. Today was the first step toward downsizing that will hurt, at least a little bit.
I love to read and I love books, but I don't need to own shelves and shelves of books if I never plan to re-read them. And I don't. That's just not the kind of reader that I am. With only a handful of exceptions, once I read a book, I will never pick it up again. I may skim through it to re-read a favorite passage or important anecdote from the text, but I do not read the same books over and over again.
Therefore, the first major purge of the books occurred today. I've done the cursory de-cluttering in the past, mostly getting rid of books that I didn't care for or weren't very good, or that I never finished reading in the first place. But after these purges I was still left with several shelves full of books that I loved, enjoyed reading and liked the idea of owning--even if I will never again pick up the book to read it again.
With Jason's help, last night we pulled off 2 diaper boxes full of books from the shelves to take to Half-Price Books to sell. Some great titles were in those boxes! Some books that I've held onto 10 years or more after purchasing just because I loved the book so much! But never opened the books a second time. I decided that if I really do want to read the book again, I can always borrow it from a library or buy it for my e-reader and not have the physical clutter in my life. And if I choose to re-purchase the book for my Kindle, then it truly is a work that I want in my collection forever.
So, 9:00am today I load up the little two kids and my boxes of books to take to the used bookstore. I knew that I needed to get them to the store as soon as it opened today, or else I would be tempted to go "shopping" in the boxes and choose books to put back on my shelf. Ian helped the gentleman at the store with opening doors and pushing our cart of books to the Buy Counter. I think he knew that I needed all the help that I could get to make this major step. I gave them my name, and then we waited.
Less than 10 minutes later, I was called back to the Buy Counter and given my offer:
$27.00
That's all?
Since my only goal was to not bring any books back home, I accepted the offer and within minutes I was given cash in exchange for my literary treasures.
While I feel a lot lighter and more prepared for the next steps of downsizing after this small step today, it definitely stung a little. I had probably spent hundreds of dollars to purchase these books, only to be offered $27 when I was through with them. It has solidified that, for me, buying books is not an investment. They are a liability, not an asset. When I choose to purchase a book in the future, I need to keep today's events in mind and carefully weigh if I really plan to hold onto the book and re-read or reference it over and over again, or if borrowing it from a library is a better plan. With the advent of the e-reader, however, the physical clutter aspect becomes null. Even so, the financial component is still something to consider, since re-sale of e-books is currently non-existent. As a once-and-done reader, libraries were made for me.
I will have more literary purges in the future. There are boxes full in our storage shed that I need to take in for sale, once I can access them when the weather breaks for good. In the meantime, I will slowly whittle away at what remains until I am left with only the books that I truly love and wish to carry with me through life.
Oh, and one book did creep back home with me from the used bookstore. Upon seeing everything laid in front of me, I realized that I'm not quite ready to part with Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Quite fitting, perhaps.
No. Today was the first step toward downsizing that will hurt, at least a little bit.
I love to read and I love books, but I don't need to own shelves and shelves of books if I never plan to re-read them. And I don't. That's just not the kind of reader that I am. With only a handful of exceptions, once I read a book, I will never pick it up again. I may skim through it to re-read a favorite passage or important anecdote from the text, but I do not read the same books over and over again.
Therefore, the first major purge of the books occurred today. I've done the cursory de-cluttering in the past, mostly getting rid of books that I didn't care for or weren't very good, or that I never finished reading in the first place. But after these purges I was still left with several shelves full of books that I loved, enjoyed reading and liked the idea of owning--even if I will never again pick up the book to read it again.
With Jason's help, last night we pulled off 2 diaper boxes full of books from the shelves to take to Half-Price Books to sell. Some great titles were in those boxes! Some books that I've held onto 10 years or more after purchasing just because I loved the book so much! But never opened the books a second time. I decided that if I really do want to read the book again, I can always borrow it from a library or buy it for my e-reader and not have the physical clutter in my life. And if I choose to re-purchase the book for my Kindle, then it truly is a work that I want in my collection forever.
So, 9:00am today I load up the little two kids and my boxes of books to take to the used bookstore. I knew that I needed to get them to the store as soon as it opened today, or else I would be tempted to go "shopping" in the boxes and choose books to put back on my shelf. Ian helped the gentleman at the store with opening doors and pushing our cart of books to the Buy Counter. I think he knew that I needed all the help that I could get to make this major step. I gave them my name, and then we waited.
Less than 10 minutes later, I was called back to the Buy Counter and given my offer:
$27.00
That's all?
Since my only goal was to not bring any books back home, I accepted the offer and within minutes I was given cash in exchange for my literary treasures.
While I feel a lot lighter and more prepared for the next steps of downsizing after this small step today, it definitely stung a little. I had probably spent hundreds of dollars to purchase these books, only to be offered $27 when I was through with them. It has solidified that, for me, buying books is not an investment. They are a liability, not an asset. When I choose to purchase a book in the future, I need to keep today's events in mind and carefully weigh if I really plan to hold onto the book and re-read or reference it over and over again, or if borrowing it from a library is a better plan. With the advent of the e-reader, however, the physical clutter aspect becomes null. Even so, the financial component is still something to consider, since re-sale of e-books is currently non-existent. As a once-and-done reader, libraries were made for me.
I will have more literary purges in the future. There are boxes full in our storage shed that I need to take in for sale, once I can access them when the weather breaks for good. In the meantime, I will slowly whittle away at what remains until I am left with only the books that I truly love and wish to carry with me through life.
Oh, and one book did creep back home with me from the used bookstore. Upon seeing everything laid in front of me, I realized that I'm not quite ready to part with Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Quite fitting, perhaps.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
How much is too much?
We're committed.
--Update: Shortly after reading this, a friend sent this link for a 5 minute video at TED on this topic.
Solidly in the thick of it.
We've been feeling it for awhile now and have turned the corner to take the decision seriously and put the action behind our desire.
It's time to downsize.
When you say that at 60, no one bats an eye. Of course--as you look to retirement or the "empty nest years", or whatever you have planned for the next 1/3 of your life, a normal transition is to downsize.
When you say that at 30, most people look at you like you've grown a third eyeball. Especially when you talk minimalism while raising 4 young children. However, our perspective is that this is precisely the time for us to do it, before we get too caught up in accumulation and live life while it is ours to live.
American culture tells us that now are the prime years to gather wealth, accumulate the treasures that will fill our lives and our homes for decades to come and to set our sights on bigger and better. While we wholeheartedly agree with this statement, our definitions of wealth, treasures and bigger and better are different from most of Americans. Our desire to gather wealth is to gather a wealth of experiences. The accumulation of treasures is in the moments shared with those that we love and making space for the quantity of time from which quality time can emerge. In setting our sights on bigger and better, we are looking for how we can make a bigger impact on our world and make the lives of those around us better than they were yesterday.
Now, this is all most definitely possible while also accumulating stuff, which we have also spent much of the past decade doing, but for us we have passed the balance point on the fulcrum. In taking a step back and re-evaluating the whys of what we do, we see that a lot of stuff has crept into our lives without a real purpose. We want the things around us to be useful, beautiful and purposeful. We desire to keep a proper perspective that our "stuff" is just "stuff". Too often we forget that we are just stewarding the resources we've been blessed with. If we hold onto something too tightly for fear of scarcity, it can begin to possess us, and poor stewardship ensues. Alternatively, as we hoard possessions to the point where we don't even know what we own, a similar lack of stewardship emerges.
For instance, how many sets of dishes do we really need? Without looking into my cabinets, I'm pretty sure that I have at least 4 different sets of full place settings for between 4-12 people. Really?!? That's a little ridiculous for me, considering I can't recall ever having a dinner party that required all of the sets to be used at once. It's time to let some of these go to someone who would put them to good use and steward them well.
What about the shelves upon shelves of books that I've read once? If I'm not going to read the book again, a better way for me to steward these resources is to sell or give the books to someone who will read them. Owning books does not make one a reader. Reading books makes one a reader.
When my father died suddenly at the age of 58, he left behind a handful of expansive barns and garages full of treasures that he collected over his years. For what? For someone (many someones!) else to sort through and determine what was worth keeping and what to find a new home for. After watching my mother and his brother labor through this process for the better part of 18 months, it confirmed for me that I want to keep a tight reign on accumulation. I'd rather my family have a quick job of sorting through few things after I'm gone and less time laboring over how to re-home possessions and wondering if it was something that I valued.
As I mentioned, my father died at 58, his mother died at 58, and her father before her also died at 58. If I was a superstitious woman, I'd say I'm likely already over-the-hill! Fortunately, I have grand plans of living a vibrant life well into my 60s while I'm still young, then being the fun and quirky old lady in the neighborhood when I'm in my 70s, pretending to be senile as I move through my 80s and then when I'm in my 90s and actually do start to lose my mind no one will ever know the difference. However, with part of my family tree ending abruptly only 2/3 of the way through life, I do look at life and how to live it a bit differently. With retirement not guaranteed, I refuse to put off plans for "someday" that can be made today. I want to live life while it is still mine to live and not come to the end of it wishing that I had spent less time striving to accumulate and financing "bigger and better" and more time actually living.
So, as we continue to simplify our lives to make room for life, we recognize that in a society that marks success with "bigger and better", our value of "less is more" is almost absurdly counter-cultural. However, I don't think we'll really miss the 3 extra sets of flatware or dozen extra sets of bed linens that do not add real value to our lives in the same way that the freedom of not being possessed by our possessions will.
***Disclaimer: Our definition of "enough" may be very different from our readers, and that's totally okay! It may even change over time, as ours has. Whether your family lives in a home with 2,000-square-feet per person or 50-square-feet per person, we all have to find that balance for ourselves and it's different for each person.***
--Update: Shortly after reading this, a friend sent this link for a 5 minute video at TED on this topic.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Selling things is funny
We have reached that point.
The point of getting new things, and in the process of finding a home for those new things, finding old things that we no longer use or use that much. We get into the mindset of finding new homes for these things, and in the process search and find more items to purge. Thus begets this years post holiday selloff. Some items we freecycle or donate to Goodwill. Most we try to sell, either through Ebay or Craigslist. Since we are nestled inside of a subdivision, I have found it easier to meet people in a parking lot nearby to deliver the items than to try and guide them through the winding streets.
One thing that these experiences have taught me: People are funny.
Some are funny in what they will actually take (and even pay money for!), others are funny in their dealings, while others are funny in what they think a reasonable offer is (barter, don't insult, people).
And then there is me (Jason). There are times that I get a kick out of bucking social conventions just to get a reaction out of people. Recently, I was presented with an opportunity to do this and make some money at the same time. Double bonus!
I had a person interested in purchasing a desktop computer that we no longer needed, and I quickly had to come up with a meeting spot, since turning on the computer was necessary for the sale and there are no plugs in the middle of the Kohl's parking lot. I settled on meeting at a local Panera Bread, knowing that there would be available outlets. Being the early bird that I am, I arrived before my customer, so I proceeded to set up the desktop for display.
 |
| My viewpoint. |
I apologize that I do not have any other photos of peoples reactions, but believe me, they were priceless. Yes, I was that guy who shows up to the coffee shop with his complete desktop, sets it up, and then proceeds to get a cup of coffee and sits down at it. I never turned it on while I was by myself, but I was set up in a corner close to the front door, so the rest of the customers could not see that it was off. I pretended to work on it for a bit, just clicking around and occasionally typing, but keeping an eye on the door. The reactions of others as they walked in and caught a glimpse of some guy with a desktop were hilarious. I saw my share of elbow jabs and whispers to the side while glancing in my direction.
The fun part was that my contact was delayed, so I had the opportunity to look at a message on my phone, get slightly irritated (an act), and hurriedly pack the whole thing up and rush out.
Sign me up for the next Improv Everywhere tryouts.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments
About Me
- The Simpson Six
- A family of six taking on the daily happenings of raising four kids and hopefully learning something along the way.
Memberships
Products We Recommend
