Keep Dreaming

Think back. As far back as you can recall.
What was your dream?
When you were four?
When you were twelve?
When you were nineteen?

What happened to that dream that was seeded in your heart during the first quarter of your life?
What are you doing during your second, third and fourth quarters of your life to bring that dream to fruition?

Maybe working out that dream looks different than you expected it to at four or twelve or nineteen, but these dreams were seeded in your heart in childhood for a reason. It's never too late to pursue these deep-seeded dreams that may be lying dormant within your heart.

The dream hasn't die. It simply needs nurtured in order to grow.

10 Things We'd Do Differently

"Is there anything that you would change if you were to start out on the road again?"

This is a paraphrased question that I've been asked several times over the past week from our readers. One that has really made me think about the past year of preparing to launch and our first 8 months of full-time travel.

Yes.

Yes, there are many things that we would have done differently, and some that we have/are changing as the right time comes.

These are the top 10 things (in no particular order) that we would do differently, if we had it to do all over again:

1) I wish we'd known what sitting in one place for 2 years does to tires and had replaced all 4 tires on our fifth wheel immediately after purchasing it. 
Our 5th wheel was 2 years old, barely used and in nearly-new condition, and had been towed a total of 20 miles in those 2 years prior to our purchase. Tires that didn't roll for 2 years were likely the greatest factor in our first-day-out blow-out.

2) Had we known all of the strikes against our first truck and its ability to tow, we would have opted for a different tow vehicle.
We planned to replace it after 1 year, but that timeline was moved up to replacing after 5 months when we had to decide if we were going to continue traveling and replace our truck or stay put in Moab, UT indefinitely and just suck it up with our lemon.

Let me be clear: If you plan to tow a fifth wheel or travel trailer, avoid 6.0 Liter Fords like the plague. If you want to just throw your money somewhere for the heck of it, I'll email you our PayPal account address and you can just send your hard-earned dollars our way instead. Seriously--just don't do it!

3) We would not have brought so much stuff.
In our first 3 months we took several truckloads of donations to the local thrift store in Glenwood Springs, CO. While we were grateful to help a local outreach, we really didn't need to haul so much extra crap along with us. We also dropped off a significant amount of unnecessary "essentials" in storage when we passed through the Midwest again last Fall.

4) We would have changed our state of residency sooner.
While maintaining Indiana residency made sense for us while we owned a house there and makes mail forwarding pretty simple on our end (HUGE thanks to our "housemates" Chris and Holly who do our mail forwarding for us!!), the income taxes and vehicle registration fees are enough to stop us in our tracks. We are in the process of deciding where we will change our domicile to within the next 6 months to minimize the financial impact on our budget. Hey, if you can choose to take residence anywhere, why not choose the best place to set up residence?

5) I would have learned earlier how awesome the laundromat is.
While I still use my Wonder Wash for all of our hand washables like our bathing suits and handmade or boutique dresses and for small, quick loads, I've found that taking 90 minutes once a week and setting up shop in the laundromat to wash 5-6 loads of laundry is soooo much more efficient use of my time and energy. I have to use the laundromat for Jason's work clothes anyway. So if I'm washing one load, why not wash a handful all at once?

6) I wouldn't have tried to make homeschooling look like school at home.
This was a steep learning curve for me as a former classroom teacher. It took us almost 6 months to find our rhythm with homeschooling and while it looks nothing like I thought homeschooling would look like, it's exactly right for our kids. It's also always changing and evolving as interests and needs change. I feel much more confident as we move into our second homeschool year to know what works for our kids and when to scrap an idea and move onto something else.

7) We would have kept travel days shorter and travelled slower.
Granted, since we (more or less) travel following Jason's work, we don't have complete control over the pace that we travel. However, we have discovered that travel days longer than 6 hours become very difficult and stressful for our family. Arriving to a campsite at dusk or later is no fun. And back-to-back travel days become torture for little people that require time and space to run and play.

8) We would have removed all expectations.
We've stopped planning more than 24 hours in advance, because we don't really know what we are doing or where we are going unless we are actively en route--and even then plans can change. This is a great thing, because it requires us to remain present where we are, but a challenge to family and friends who always want to know "where to next?". We've stopped speculating because it really doesn't benefit anyone. I hope that we can carry this mindset over if we ever choose to settle somewhere permanently or semi-permanently again.

9) We would have taken the opportunity to get lost more often.
Admittedly, I'm less directionally oriented than Jason. I've been known to get us lost a time or two. As long as it doesn't involve being lost while towing a 36-foot rig behind us, getting lost has always led us to someplace off the beaten path and a treasure that we'd never have found otherwise.

10) We would have done this years ago.
While the time was exactly right for us to take off down the highway when we did, there are many times that I wish we'd had the courage to leave sooner. Our biggest reason for putting our dream on hold for years was due to pregnancies and newborns and uncertainties as to how to maneuver through those years while on the road. Now that we've met other families out here like us, we've learned of several families who have navigated pregnancies and life with newborns on the road with such grace and ease that I'm certain that we could have made it happen.

One thing that is for certain, if we had to do it all over again, we absolutely would. In a heartbeat and without hesitation. While life on the road is not always easy, it's always been grand.

Regret.

As we've been talking with friends and strangers about our family's plans over the past couple of months, we hear many common statements.

"Wow! You're brave!"

This is a nice way of saying "Wow! You're crazy!", which might not be untrue.

"If anyone I know could do that, it's you guys."

That's encouraging to hear, since we pretty much feel the same way.

"That's my dream! I would love to do that someday!"

This one is hardest to know how to respond to. I want to encourage these folks that they CAN do it, but that it's not easy. And I never know if they are the kind of person to put legs to their dreams or if they are content where they are and enjoy simply dreaming.

There's nothing wrong with that at all, if you are truly content, but Jason and I are not that kind of people. We put legs (or in this case, wheels!) under our dreams and make them happen.

I have always claimed that I desire to live a life with no regrets. 3 years ago today, I made a seemingly innocuous choice that has led to the single regret of my life, but one that I'm choosing to learn from. Beginning 2 years and 364 days ago, I decided to never put off the important until tomorrow. Tomorrow might be too late.

3 years ago tomorrow morning, my dad was suddenly and tragically killed in a freak car accident. To make a very long story short (and not at all in the manner that my dad would tell it, if he was still living), it was a perfect accident in the sense that if even one small variable had been different, my father might still be here today. 3 years ago tonight, I nearly picked up the phone to call him, just to talk--because that's what he liked best (good gracious, could that man talk!). However, it was after 10pm and I thought it might be too late to call, or that by the time we got off the phone it would be pushing midnight, so I would call him the next day. Before 8am the next morning, my dad had passed through the veil between "Here" and "There" and I would never have the opportunity to make that phone call.

All that being said, when we felt a stirring last summer to move forward with our long-term dream of taking this show on the road, I was reminded of the urgency to act, because we never know when it will be too late. Now, hopefully that doesn't mean the loss of someone dear to us, but even as quickly as kids grow, we may soon lose the window of opportunity to travel while they are young and portable. Health is not a guarantee, and while we are all in perfect health, we should take this opportunity to do what wouldn't be possible otherwise.

So, while living a life with no regrets is a valiant goal to strive toward, I now believe that having a single regret might lead to a better life. Once you know the impact of that regret on your life, if you can learn to never again go down that road, it is worthwhile. My dad gave me many gifts and taught me many lessons in his lifetime. I am blessed that his final lesson was equally valuable--even if he'll never know that he taught it to me.

One more set of statements that we have heard many times over about the adventure we are embarking on:

"Your dad would have loved this!"

"You are your father's daughter."

"This sounds just like something your dad would have done."

And as someone who modeled living life fully, I wholeheartedly agree. I don't know if he lived a life with no regrets, but I suspect that if he had any, he chose to learn from them and make a better life from them. I'm choosing to do the same.