An Update on the Single (Vehicle) Life

This week, for the first time in 7 months, we rented a van to have a second vehicle. We had some business to attend to that required both Jason and I to have transportation during the day and public transportation was not going to be a viable option in this situation. So, I rented a van for a few days to complete our business and extended the rental by a couple of days to take advantage of visiting several National Parks and Historical Sites with the kids while Jason completes the final days of his current job assignment.

While I enjoyed re-learning how to drive (I haven't driven since we sold our van at the end of June), it soon became apparent that we are nowhere near the point of needing or wanting a second vehicle on any kind of regular basis. There are so many benefits that we have received from making this one choice to live simpler and more intentionally. For our family, this means choosing to own just one vehicle.

Financially, this has been a huge savings! The total cost of secondary transportation for our family from May-November has been $434.72 (I think...unless I missed a $1-2 bus fare somewhere). This includes a 4-day van rental, a tank of gasoline (to drive 300+ miles this week) and 3.5 months of bus fare for the 4 kids and me. The insurance cost alone for a secondary vehicle would have been nearly this number. Add in the cost of 1-2 oil changes and fuel for at least 5,000 miles and the cost for simply maintaining a second vehicle for our family would be $1,500+ before even factoring in additional routine maintenance and repairs or the unseen cost of vehicle depreciation. Additionally, with limited transportation availability there are fewer "I'm bored" trips to Target, home improvement stores, or the mall which can nickel and dime a family budget quickly. Not to mention, where would we put the crap that we don't need from these stores? Our single-vehicle lives have successfully put an end to any of those trips that we had been in the habit of making.

We've seen massive changes in communication within our family. We discuss daily where we need or want to go and arrange our schedules accordingly. Jason knows that I will most likely be home when he returns from work in the evening and can consistently have dinner planned for our family because there are fewer I-got-distracted-and-didn't-get-home-in-time-to-plan-dinner days. Also, we have all but eliminated the occurrence of him working late and wondering when he will be home, unsure of how to plan our evening. Jason has become excellent at communicating his work schedule--as random as his hours may be at times--so that we can coordinate all of our evening plans around when he will be home.

Finally, we have learned to slow down and savor life. The kids and I walk to a lot of places. We find the hidden gems around where we are staying or near the places to which we take public transportation. We spend a lot of time with the people immediately around us at the campgrounds where we stay, because we're rarely in a rush to get somewhere. While waiting at bus stops and riding public transportation, we have had the opportunity to engage in rich conversations with strangers and one another that we would otherwise miss out on by riding in our private vehicles. We truly *see* the beauty around us and realize that there is a lot to miss in life when you move through it at a rapid pace, and we're never at a loss for finding opportunities for exercise.

While the single-vehicle life will not work for every family, I'm grateful that we critically evaluated our family's needs and made this choice. For now, it's a good move for our family. Will it remain that way forever? Most likely not, but as long as the benefits continue to outweigh the costs, having one vehicle is part of the life that we choose.

(For more information on how we chose to become a single-vehicle family, click on the link here.)

What do I have left?

I found myself in the same situation/predicament today that I have found myself many times before.  I have invested so much of myself and my energy into my day that I have nothing left for my family.  Upon my arrival home, I have nothing else on my mind but to just kick back and veg out, to do what I want to do.  My children, always pining for my attention, keep calling to me to watch their show or to follow them around.  Meanwhile, I am just getting irritated at their volume level and getting in the way of the task that I am trying to accomplish, be it cleaning something up, preparing dinner, or one of many tasks that I have before me.


Yes, I did compel myself (because force is too strong of a word) to get down on their level to interact and play.  We did a brief 'Daddy jungle gym' (let your imagination be your guide) and played with some blocks, but I quickly went back to my household tasks.  Yet, it was during bath time, another one of those begrudging chores, that I really thought about where I was at, both mentally and physically.  I didn't have the time or energy for them, at least, not the amount that they deserve.


Granted, as a working parent I cannot come home every day brimming with energy and zeal, ready to hug and tackle my kids right when I walk in the door and then race around with them in our back yard until my lovely wife has dinner prepared.  But really, how many times have I come home only to ignore them, to fulfill my own selfish desires, which in reality consists mostly of vegging out and tuning out?  Where is the balance, where my kids get the interaction with their awesome father that they crave, but I get the chance to unwind?  When I think about it, if they are not out of bed before I leave in the morning, they may only get 3 hours of their day with me.  For you non-mathematical people, that is only 12.5% of the day.


I write this looking ahead.  I look ahead to the days when I can spend my whole day investing into my children.  When I can play with them for hours on end, to be with them as they make new discoveries, hone their skills, and gain new talents.  I pine for what is ahead of my family, when we have the opportunity to be with each other not for just a day or two over the weekend, but for when we can spend weeks at a time getting under each others skin.  I am eager for the time when we will need to step away from each other for some alone time rather than wishing that we had just one or two more hours to play.


I love my kids.  I love how they pull me down to their level, which is one of joy, fun, amazement, and discovery.  God bless where he is taking this family, I am looking forward to it.

Stopping to have a little fun

In the spirit of being present where we are at, we took yesterday afternoon to just play in the front yard.  I understand that this may not seem like a huge undertaking or something noteworthy, but I realized that we have not taken time recently to just play in our front yard.  We have been busy planning, processing, running, and adjusting to simple living.

Yes, it was a little warm and we got a little sticky and dirty, but otherwise we would not have had the chance to see our strawberries beginning to turn red, all of the plants sprouting in the garden, or Caroline's '4' leaf clover (she added a leaf to a 3 leaf clover).

The kids rode their bikes around the driveway, creating their obstacle course with the cones.  We threw frisbees back and forth and kicked the soccer ball.  Flowers were picked, grass was combed through, and Eliza continued her practice of maneuvering up and down a step without tripping over her dress.

Adventures of a Single-Vehicle Family in the Suburbs...

So, I'd be lying if I didn't say that part of me is very excited to now be a single-vehicle family. Yes, we still have the motorcycle (for at least a little while longer) that Jason can ride solo to and from places that he needs to be, but only when the weather is fair. The past few days has been rather spring-like and full of rain. While the rain is wonderful for our garden, it's also forced us to adjust rather quickly to life with one vehicle.


First, let's get the logistics out of the way. Each day now, we're all rising early and leaving the house by 7am. Okay, more like 7:10--we don't have it down to a science yet! I drive Jason and the older girls to school and return home with the younger kids to have their second breakfast (yes, we are raising Hobbits, I'm afraid!) and regroup before we go about the activities of our day. After school, the little kids and I get back into the van, and drive back to school to pick up the older girls and Jason at the end of their day. What if one of us has an evening or weekend event to attend? Well, whoever needs to go does, and the other stays home with the kid(s) who are not attending. So far, it seems like a pretty simple plan.


While many families who live either more urban or rural lives thrive on having a single vehicle for their family, having two (or more) vehicles per family is the norm in the suburbs where we live. However, we've determined that at this stage in our life it's not a necessity. Jason works a fairly predictable schedule. I am not currently employed outside of the home. We generally do things together as a family more often than we do things separately. On the rare occasion that we need a second vehicle, there is a rental car company just a mile or so up the street that we can rent a car for the day from, while still benefitting from life with a single vehicle.


Benefitting? Yes. Benefitting.


There are A LOT of benefits to our new one-car situation. While it didn't make sense for us to sell a car that we owned outright in favor of being a single-vehicle family in the past, now that we are transitioning to living life on the road full-time in a couple of months, I'm excited to reap the benefits. First of all, we have cut our vehicle insurance and registration fees in half! We've cut our gas expenses by about 1/3-1/2 (we'll find out the real number at the end of this month). We have significantly reduced our vehicle maintenance costs. Since our van is still covered under both the manufacturer warranties and the Volkswagen Carefree Maintenance Program, we have had $0 vehicle maintenance costs on our van in 2.5 years, compared to the cost of routine maintenance on our Saab. Not to mention the stress relief of having one more large item liquidated from our lives and opening wider the door for us to move forward toward our dream.


Monetary benefits aside, the greatest benefits for our family to come from living with a single vehicle are many. We will spend more time together as we travel en masse to and from places, even if just one or two family members need to be at the destination. We are forced to make more decisions for the greater good. Just because someone would "like" to go somewhere, we can't just drop everything and go without consideration of everyone else's schedules and needs. Finally, being forced to consider one another's needs and best interests and increasing communication between spouses and children can only lead to a better marriage and family experience.


I'm optimistic about the days, months and potentially years ahead as a single-vehicle family! It likely won't be this way forever, and someday we'll likely need a second car in our lives, but I will cherish these special days while they are here.

The Value of Being Present

Throughout much of the past 9-10 months, as we began planning and taking steps for a major lifestyle change for our family in preparation for life on the road full-time, I have felt a great tension. How do we do all that we must do to prepare for what is ahead of us while remaining present where we are?


No matter what the circumstance, whether it be preparing for a marriage, a job change, the addition of a child to your family, moving homes, or any number of major life events that require preparation, I'm certain that I'm not alone in feeling this tension. The tendency to prematurely pull away from that which you will be leaving behind after the change is a tough one to counteract.


We have become deeply rooted in our present community. We are invested in a school that was our reason for moving to Indianapolis and has become our extended family in town over the past 10 years. We helped plant our church in the community where we live 5 years ago and have grown to call it home. We live our daily lives among some of the most fantastic neighbors we could ask for and are blessed to call them friends. For a place where neither Jason nor I grew up and have lived for just a few short years, we have found ourselves surrounded by so many great people in our "village" that I want to treasure every bit of time with them while we are still in close physical proximity.


For this reason, we held tightly to our dream and specific plans until we could no longer keep it to ourselves. You see, as much as our excitement is overflowing, the bittersweet side is that now that everyone in our village is caught up to speed with where we're going, we now are faced with the challenge of remaining present where we are and not looking too far ahead to where we're going.


Do we want to sell our house and possessions quickly and buy our new-to-us truck and RV ASAP?--ABSOLUTELY! Do we want to be so focused on where we hope to be three months from now that we miss out on everything here and now?--ABSOLUTELY NOT! As our life on the road will be about learning to enjoy the journey without worry of the destination (partly because we don't know when/where our final destination will be), we're doing our best to live that now.


Will we talk your ear off about our plans and preparations and share more details than you ever thought you wanted to know about RVs, trucks, road schooling, minimalist living, veggie oil conversions, etc.?--Only if you want us to. Will we act like life is continuing on as usual? Definitely. Because it is. Our version of life-as-usual just might look different from your own, but that's often the case when we delve deep enough into one another's lives.


Our lives for the next several years will involve a constant state of change of both scenery and cast of characters with the places that we go and the people that we meet. We can choose to keep people at arm's length, knowing that we'll soon be traveling onward, or we can choose to invest in the lives of people that we meet, not knowing if we'll be spending the next 2 months near them or if after today we'll never meet again. Now is the time for us to practice not "checking out" early, but being present where we are and continuing to invest fully in the people and things that we love while we are still physically present among them.

It's been a lousy week...

Truth.

So, on the outside, life has been pretty quiet, publicly, around the Simpson Six homestead this past week. I can assure you, however, that as still and serene as it appears from the outside, inside we have been all a flurry with activity. Activities that I never in my life thought that I would be doing. Ever. Ever, ever!!

Last Wednesday morning, as I was brushing my daughter's hair I swore that I saw something move. Now, I'm not a morning person--by any means--so Jason assured me that I'm just paranoid and I figured that my eyes were simply not focused yet, as it was before 7am. So, off he and the girls go to school and I, still a bit skeeved by the thought that something was there, set off to vacuum the house and wash all of our bedding on hot. Surely clean sheets will make everything right in my world again...right?!?

Well, still not content with that, I decided to wash Ian's hair and then my hair with vinegar. It works to clean my windows, floors and bathrooms, so obviously it will give our hair a thorough cleaning. That should do it, right?!?

Well, I then bagged up all of the stuffies in the house and set them in the garage to await their turn in the laundry machines (the bedding was still running through their cycles). All was now right in my world, and I could breathe easier that my home was completely clean and whatever I saw this morning was gone--if it ever existed in the first place.

Meanwhile, Jason stopped over at the elementary school during his lunch break to take our daughters to the school nurse to get their heads checked, to report back to me that my paranoia was unfounded and everyone was just as clean and bug-free as always. Which is all well and good, except for the worst was discovered: head lice. My precious babies with flowing, golden hair had been chosen by some hitch-hiking parasites to be hosts to their own colonies of microscopic critters! When I got the call that they were coming home from school, my heart sank, and my life was put on hold until we eradicated these pests that were trying to take over our world.

Within the first 24 hours of Jason's phone call--which bore the silver lining of him telling me that I'm not paranoid, that there really was something moving on my sweet girl's head!--I washed, dried and put away 16 loads of laundry. I can't tell you how long it usually takes me to wash, dry and put away 16 loads of laundry--but I'd venture to say closer to 1 month than 1 day! Within 72 hours, that number was up to 27. Everything that cannot be washed and/or dried has been bagged up for 2 weeks or put on ice--literally! We have 2 freezers that we rarely use, so they are full of things like dress-up hats, sweaters and throw pillows. Ridiculous, but necessary to eliminate every last loose louse.

There's no food in this freezer for now!

Also, I have begun vacuuming every inch of my home no less than 3 times every day--including every stitch of upholstered furniture in our house. Bedding is still being washed daily--and will be for 2 weeks, and every head in our house has been checked, strand by strand, under a magnifying glass twice daily since last Wednesday.

And what about those sweet girls, with their golden tresses flowing down their backs?

Slow my roll

Admittedly, it is my nature to have a plan or a schedule, hit the ground running in the morning, and try to keep going through the day.  I like the feeling of staying busy and feeling that I am accomplishing something each moment.  I end up hurrying from one thing to another.


Today was the first day of Christmas break.  The first day that I didn't have any commitments to work that I had to worry about.  The first day that I wasn't trying to get things done and cram them in because I've had a busy week and am anticipating another one.  Today was the first day to get to all of the fun, Christmasy stuff that I have been wanting to.  So, did I hit the ground running this morning, rallying the troops to get a move on?


No.


We slept in.


Every person got up when they were ready to.  Some of us hours before others.


I went to bed last night with the intentional thought of not planning anything, not trying to cram everything into today.  Instead, we had a late breakfast, played for awhile, enjoyed a light lunch, and then got on with the day.


It was GREAT!


We then went up to Conner Prairie for their Holidays on the Prairie activities.  On the weekends they have some of the buildings open in Prairie Town for guests to interact with the characters.  It is fun to get into the period with them and banter back and forth.  They also have a gingerbread house competition on display inside the main building.  This part is open for the rest of the season.  Next in line was Discovery Station, their indoor play area for the kids with a market, train station, and farming activities.  This area is always a hit with the kids.

Eliza ready to do some yard work.

Lydia picked an armful of apples.

Caroline and Ian working in the wood shop.

We headed home for a nice dinner of beef, potatoes and carrots that had been simmering all day in the slow cooker (see, more slowing down).  Afterwards, we enjoyed a live nativity put on by Epworth UMC.  They have some live animals from Conner Prairie, warm fires, cookies, and a large collection of nativities from around the world.  

Something that I have to remind myself of, and I pass along:  Slow down.  Take in what this holiday season has to offer.  I think that I will be better off if I miss a few things on my to do list but really enjoy the things that I do get to.  Try it for yourself.